When a woman is unhappy in a marriage, despite all the things that her husband is doing for her, which are all very good and excellent. What is she supposed to do?

If she were managing to be happy, and an old flame came into her life from the past. She didn’t ask for it or desire it, but it happened, and one thing led to another. What is her fault in this thing called life?

What if she is sexually dissatisfied? On the surface, everything is fine, but in the other room, she has never felt like a woman or experienced what it is to truly experience her soul being shaken vigorously out of her body. That feeling of almost there, but always left hanging. Should she cringe her teeth for life or would finding joy be too much to ask for in this world of endless woe?

What if her husband is too caring and she wants a husband who would be assertive and treat her like a master? It is not all donkeys that can be enticed by a carrot. Some enjoy the stick much more because it makes them feel alive. What should a donkey do when the master refuses to use the stick when needed?

What if the woman wants to leave, but for the moment, has no viable option but to stay in the marriage? Many women are in this situation; they are married and praying daily that a prince charming would come out of nowhere to save them from the drab reality of their current relationship in the marriage.

Men are quick to bring receipts of the things they did for a woman while they were dating, courting, or married to her as evidence of their provision, expressions of their love, gifts, financial sacrifices, and expenditures on their woman. These are material things. Love and emotion are not material things, and in truth, money cannot buy love. So a man could literally cut his head for a woman, and the woman may not truly love him. The heart craves love and affection, and the woman may find it with someone who has not done half of what the man did for her.

What do you think she is supposed to do in this regard?

Don’t get me wrong, sir, I am not an advocate of cheating or unfaithfulness of any kind. I like to ask questions like this because I am a lawyer who has handled divorce cases for the last ten years and listened to all sorts of stories and seen all sorts of situations and experiences.

I chose not to have a court marriage for this reason.

I felt it was important to protect the children by doing a magistrate wedding, but I also believe that if fate or destiny conspires to tear my husband and me apart for one reason or the other, I should not make it difficult for us to fulfil our future because of our present.

Sometimes our outrage is simply a result of our myopia on these issues. Life is not black and white.

You can be in my shoes and thrive while I, who owns the shoe is crying in pain because it is too small or too tight for me.

That you thrived in marriage with my partner does not mean you know how to love better.

A lion will thrive where a crocodile cannot, and a crocodile will thrive where a lion cannot.

It doesn’t make one better at thriving than the other.

Just my musings

Cynthia M

People looking at marriages and judging marriages based on the things they see on the surface or on its public face are not being fair.

Marriages survive on the things that cannot be seen, the internal workings and values that cannot be seen.