Marriage is not Spiritual

At the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven -Jesus

Marriage is not spiritual, a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together.

Marriage is one of the most profound bonds, but did you know there are various ways couples across the globe choose to say, “I do?”

From modern love marriages to traditional arranged unions, the different forms of marriage reflect the diversity of cultures, values, and beliefs worldwide. But how many different kinds of marriage are you familiar with?

Have you ever wondered if your marriage fits into a specific category? Or perhaps, what other different types of marriages exist that you’ve never heard of?

Just as every couple is unique, so are the bonds they share. While the essence of love may be universal, the way it’s expressed and celebrated can differ vastly.

This is where the different types of marriages come into play, shaping not only how a couple functions within their relationship but also how they are perceived by society.

 

The role of culture and tradition

Marriage is more than just two people coming together: it’s a cultural statement. Whether it’s through different types of marriage ceremonies or traditional customs, the way couples tie the knot can influence their roles, responsibilities, and expectations from each other.

Impact on relationship dynamics

Couples in diverse marriages often go through challenges differently.

Research shows that satisfaction levels in relationships can vary based on the marriage type—some may enjoy enduring fulfillment, while others face deep discontent.

Society’s lens on marriage

Society often places certain expectations on couples based on what are the different types of marriage they enter. These societal perceptions can either strengthen or challenge the bond, shaping how couples are viewed and supported in their journey.

There are different types of marriages, each offering unique dynamics shaped by cultural, legal, and personal influences. Let’s dive deeper into these types of marriages, exploring their meanings, potential benefits, and challenges.

Jewish marriage, or chupah, is a sacred union with a traditional structure, including betrothal, a marriage contract (ketubah), and a ceremony with blessings, culminating in the breaking of glass, symbolizing the destruction of the Temple.

Here’s a more detailed look:

Betrothal (Erros):

In ancient times, marriages were often arranged, with the bride and groom’s families negotiating the terms of the marriage, including a bride price (mohar) and gifts (mattan). Today, betrothal is often a private ceremony with the exchange of rings and declarations of commitment.

Marriage Contract (Ketubah):

A ketubah is a legal and religious document outlining the rights and responsibilities of the husband to his wife, including financial support and protection. It’s read aloud during the wedding ceremony.

Ceremony:

The wedding ceremony, or chupah, is a joyous event with seven traditional blessings, personal remarks from the rabbi, and a final blessing before the breaking of the glass.

Breaking of the Glass:

The breaking of the glass is a symbolic act representing the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and serves as a reminder of the past and the importance of building a new future together.

Levirate Marriage:

In ancient times, there was a practice called Levirate marriage where the brother of a deceased man was obligated to marry his brother’s widow to ensure the continuation of the family line.

In Christian tradition, marriage is generally understood as a sacred union between one man and one woman, a covenant of love and commitment, and is often seen as a sacrament. While there are variations in how different denominations approach marriage, the core principle remains monogamous and lifelong.

Here’s a more detailed breakdown:

Monogamous Marriage:

Most Christian denominations uphold monogamy as the norm, meaning marriage between one man and one woman.

Sacrament:

Many Christians view marriage as a sacrament, a visible sign of God’s grace and a symbol of Christ’s relationship with the church.

Lifelong Commitment:

Christian marriage is often seen as a lifelong commitment, with the vows emphasizing fidelity and love until death.

Interfaith Marriage:

Interfaith marriages, where one partner is Christian and the other is not, are increasingly common and require careful consideration and open communication between the couple and their respective communities.

Court Marriage:

While not all Christian denominations have a strong stance on court marriages, some Christians may choose to have a civil ceremony in addition to or instead of a religious ceremony.

Civil and religious marriage

Civil Marriage is legally recognized by the state, granting couples legal rights such as inheritance, property sharing, and legal recognition of their union. Religious marriage, however, is recognized by a religious body, often requiring adherence to religious laws and customs.

While many couples combine these two forms for both spiritual and legal recognition, they are distinct in their purpose.

A possible perk: Offers both legal protection and spiritual fulfillment.

A possible challenge: Balancing the expectations of both the legal system and religious institutions can create complexities in decision-making and relationship dynamics.

Mixed Marriage:

A mixed marriage is a marriage between two Christians who remain within their own churches and participate to some extent in their spouse’s church.

Companionate Marriage:

Companionate marriage is a union in which the partners have mutual consent and equality. Its purpose is founded on companionship rather than marriage’s.

 

Common-law marriage

Common-law marriage is when a couple lives together and presents themselves as married without formalizing their union through a legal or religious ceremony.

In some regions, after a certain period, the state may legally recognize marriage, offering certain rights like inheritance or spousal benefits. However, the lack of a formal agreement can also lead to complications.

A possible perk: Offers flexibility for couples who want emotional commitment without formalities.

A possible challenge: Without formal recognition, couples may face legal uncertainties, especially in the event of separation or disputes regarding assets or custody.

 

Monogamous marriage

Monogamy is the most widely practiced form of marriage around the world. In this type, two people commit exclusively to each other, both emotionally and sexually. The focus is on building a strong, intimate relationship with a single partner, and it’s seen as the societal norm in many cultures.

A possible perk: Provides emotional security and deepens the bond between two individuals.

A possible challenge: The expectation of lifelong exclusivity can create pressure, and any breach of trust can severely impact the relationship.

 

Polygamous marriage

Polygamous Marriage though not as common now, allows one person to have multiple spouses. It can take the form of polygyny, where a man marries multiple women, or polyandry, where a woman marries multiple men. Polygamous and Polyandry marriages still exist in certain cultures, often tied to religious or cultural practices.

A possible perk: Expands family networks and support systems, especially in cultures where large families are valued.

A possible challenge: Jealousy, unequal attention, and difficulties managing relationships with multiple partners can strain the marriage.

 

Left-handed marriage

A left-handed, or morganatic marriage occurs when two individuals from different social classes marry, but the lower-status partner and their offspring do not inherit the higher-status partner’s titles or assets. This type of marriage is often associated with royalty or nobility, where social rank plays a significant role.

A possible perk: Allows love to transcend societal boundaries and prioritizes personal connection over status.

A possible challenge: The lack of equal social standing or financial inheritance can create tensions and feelings of inequality within the relationship.

 

Secret marriage

A secret marriage is a union that is hidden from family, friends, or society at large. This may be due to personal reasons, social pressures, or even safety concerns. While the couple may be legally married, they choose to keep it private, either temporarily or permanently.

A possible perk: Protects the couple from external judgment, allowing them to focus solely on their relationship.

A possible challenge: The secrecy can lead to isolation, lack of external support, and even feelings of guilt or shame. Additionally, the couple may face complications if the marriage is revealed unexpectedly.

 

Shotgun marriage

A shotgun marriage occurs when a couple decides to marry due to an unplanned pregnancy. In many cultures, having children before marriage is stigmatized, leading couples to tie the knot to maintain family honor or avoid social embarrassment. GETTING PREGNANT BEFORE MARRIAGE DOES NOT LEAD TO HELL FIRE OR ETERNAL DAMNATION as preached by many denominations. It is honorable to keep the marriage bed undefiled and this is the ideal expectations the church has for every believer. However, where the marriage bed has been defiled and a pregnancy shows up, the father of the bride will cock his gun and aim it at the man so that he either marries the lady he made pregnant or gets shot for dishonoring her reputation.

Note that getting pregnant outside of wedlock does not mean the couple has to get married

Shotgun marriage is often rushed, leaving little time for thorough planning or reflection on long-term compatibility.

A possible perk: Offers societal acceptance and emotional security for the child.

A possible challenge: The pressure to marry quickly can strain the relationship, as the decision may be based on circumstance rather than mutual readiness.

 

Mixed marriage

A mixed marriage, also called an inter-racial marriage, is a union between individuals from different racial or ethnic backgrounds. In the past, marrying within one’s race was the norm, but today, more people embrace the beauty of diversity and connection beyond cultural boundaries.

A possible perk: Enriches the relationship with a blend of cultural experiences, traditions, and perspectives.

A possible challenge: Couples may face external prejudice or family disapproval, which can create stress in maintaining their relationship.

 

Love marriage

A love marriage is when two people fall in love and decide to marry without external pressures or arranged setups. The bond is based on mutual affection, understanding, and personal connection, making love the foundation of their relationship.

A possible perk: Built on emotional compatibility and personal choice, love marriages often foster strong bonds.

A possible challenge: Without family support or alignment of values, love marriages can sometimes face external pressures or conflicts.

 

Arranged marriage

In an arranged marriage, families play a significant role in selecting a suitable partner based on various factors such as religion, race, tribe, or financial background.

This one among the different types of arranged marriages can vary greatly depending on cultural traditions, with some being fully arranged by parents, while others involve the couple having a say in the final decision.

A possible perk: Strong familial support often accompanies these marriages, offering a network of guidance and stability.

A possible challenge: The couple may initially struggle with emotional intimacy if they were not deeply acquainted before marriage.

 

Convenience marriage

A convenience marriage is when two people marry for reasons other than love, such as financial gain, social status, or immigration benefits. While it may not be romantic, it can provide mutual benefits that make life easier or more stable for both parties.

A possible perk: Provides practical advantages like financial security or legal status, improving both partners’ lives.

A possible challenge: Without a foundation of emotional connection, this type of marriage may lack fulfillment and could become transactional over time.

 

Zombie marriage

In a zombie marriage, the couple appears to be together publicly, but behind closed doors, their relationship has lost all emotional connection.

They remain married in name only, often for the sake of appearances, children, or societal pressure, but the bond itself is effectively “dead.”

A possible perk: May offer stability or continuity for children or in professional circles.

A possible challenge: The emotional void can lead to dissatisfaction, loneliness, and potential resentment between partners.

 

Group marriage

Group marriage involves multiple men and women being married to each other, forming a collective bond rather than individual partnerships. Unlike polygamy, where one person has multiple spouses, this form involves mutual relationships among all members.

A possible perk: Creates a strong, diverse support network where responsibilities and emotions are shared among multiple people.

A possible challenge: Managing the complex emotional dynamics and maintaining balance between multiple relationships can be overwhelming.

 

Parenting marriage

In a parenting marriage, the couple stays together primarily for the sake of raising their children, often delaying separation or divorce until the children become independent. The focus is on maintaining a stable family environment.

A possible perk: Provides children with a stable home environment and both parents’ presence during their formative years.

A possible challenge: Emotional disconnection between partners may create a tense or unfulfilling relationship, which could affect the children over time.

 

Safety marriage OR WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE MARRIAGE

A safety marriage occurs when the union is based on a material exchange or agreement, often related to financial stability, social status, or legal benefits. The terms of the marriage are established before the wedding.

A possible perk: Offers practical advantages like financial security or social mobility for both parties.

A possible challenge: Lack of emotional connection or genuine affection can make the relationship feel transactional and lead to dissatisfaction.

 

Open marriage or BE DECEIVING YOURSELVES MARRIAGE

An open marriage allows both partners to seek relationships outside the marriage, with mutual consent. This arrangement often appeals to couples seeking emotional or sexual exploration beyond the confines of monogamy.

A possible perk: Provides freedom for both partners to explore other connections without feeling confined.

A possible challenge: Jealousy or emotional complications may arise, and maintaining trust can be difficult if boundaries aren’t clearly communicated.

Understand more about open marriages with this real-life story. Watch this engaging video:

 

Court marriage

A court marriage bypasses traditional ceremonies in favor of a legal, straightforward process where the couple applies for a marriage certificate through the legal system. It’s often chosen for simplicity or when couples want to avoid cultural rituals.

A possible perk: Quick, efficient, and legally binding without the expense or stress of a large wedding.

A possible challenge: Lacks the emotional or cultural significance that some people value in traditional marriage ceremonies.

 

Time-bound marriage OR MARRIAGE WITH EXPIRY DATE

A time-bound marriage involves a contractual agreement where the couple decides to stay married for a specific period. After the term ends, they may renew the contract or separate.

A possible perk: Provides flexibility and a clear understanding of relationship expectations, reducing long-term commitment pressure.

A possible challenge: May create insecurity or a lack of long-term emotional investment if the couple is unsure about their future together.

 

The partnership marriage OR FEMINIST COVEN ENDORSED MARRIAGE

In a partnership marriage, the couple shares responsibilities equally, whether it’s career, household chores, or raising children. They function as a team, both contributing to every aspect of the relationship, including romance.

A possible perk: Promotes equality and fairness, ensuring both partners feel valued and supported in the relationship.

A possible challenge: If one partner feels they’re carrying more of the load, resentment can build, disrupting the balance and harmony of the partnership.

 

The independents marriage

In an independent marriage, both partners value personal autonomy and live relatively separate lives while remaining committed to each other. They prioritize individual interests and allow each other space to grow independently.

A possible perk: Allows for personal growth and individuality within the relationship, preventing feelings of suffocation.

A possible challenge: Lack of physical or emotional closeness may lead to feelings of disconnection if not balanced with meaningful togetherness.

 

The degree seekers marriage

In a degree-seeking marriage, the couple views their relationship as a learning experience. They are often opposites, with each possessing skills the other wants to develop. Marriage becomes a journey of mutual growth and learning.

A possible perk: Encourages constant self-improvement and intellectual stimulation, fostering a dynamic and evolving relationship.

A possible challenge: If one partner feels they are no longer learning from the other, the relationship may stagnate, leading to dissatisfaction.

 

The “traditional” roles marriage

In a traditional roles marriage, the husband and wife have clearly defined responsibilities—typically with the husband as the breadwinner and the wife as the homemaker. This structure is based on conventional gender roles.

A possible perk: Clear division of responsibilities can lead to harmony if both partners are content with their roles.

A possible challenge: If either partner becomes dissatisfied with their role or feels restricted, it can lead to frustration or resentment.

 

The companionship marriage

A companionship marriage is centered on friendship and togetherness. The couple is focused on sharing life experiences, offering support, and being each other’s confidant. It’s less about independence and more about building a life together.

A possible perk: Strong emotional connection and a deep sense of partnership, creating a secure and nurturing environment.

A possible challenge: Lack of personal space or independence may lead to feelings of dependency, which could strain the relationship over time.

 

The many faces of marriage

At the end of the day, marriage is as unique as the people in it. It’s not about fitting into a box or following a script—it’s about what works best for you and your partner.

Whether it’s a traditional setup, an unconventional arrangement, or something in between, the beauty of marriage lies in the freedom to choose. As society evolves, so does the concept of marriage, and the possibilities are endless.

So, whether you’re maintaining a new relationship or redefining an old one, remember: there’s no “right” way to do marriage, only the way that fits your life.

Explore your options, communicate openly, and build something that feels right for both of you. The future of marriage is about crafting your own path—one that works for your unique love story.

 

PS: Africans and African religious bodies love spiritualizing everything and by so doing they create a space for divine intervention where there ought to be mutual understanding and respect. Marriage is a societal, traditional and cultural creation that ensures that the family unit, which is the pillar of every society, is organized and intact from generation to generation.

We decide who to marry, when to marry, where to marry, how to get married and what our marriages will turn out to be as individuals and as a couple. We can pray to get married into good homes and into good families, but we must work daily to keep our marriage healthy and full of love.

 

GSW

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