She: I came from a family of seven: father, mother, and five siblings. I lost my Dad at the age of twelve.

When we lost our dad, my Mum carried the burden & training us without any assistance from my father’s family. I was able to go through higher institutions through the help of a friend whom I met in 2009 through another friend of mine.

He said he liked me and wanted us to be friends. He also offered to help me because my friend already told him about my family; I was lured into the relationship with the word “Help”.

He was particular about me going to school; because of this, I gave in to the relationship.

When I wrote my first JAMB, he supported me financially through my first post-UTME and all the exams I wrote, including my journey from Lagos to write my post-UTME exams in different schools.

I didn’t get the needed admission at the time, but he stayed true to his word, and when I wrote my second JAMB, he assisted me through all my tutorials and post-UTME tutorials; I was then given admission in a Polytechnic.

He sponsored me through school; my Mum assisted in her little way before he finally took full responsibility because my Mum and my immediate elder sister were training my younger sister in school at the time, so it was heavy for my Mum at that time.

This was why I actually gave in to the relationship between myself and him.

He was married. I told my Mum and sister about him.

I told them he was helping me.

My mum asked me if he was married or single. I told her he was married. My mum said, ” What am I doing with a married man? I actually lied to her that I don’t have anything to do with him sexually; that we are just friends, and he offered to help me. That was how I was able to convince my mum then.

I went through school, graduated to the glory of God, worked for a while in his office, then left before starting up my business, and he assisted me for my business.

In the course of me being friends with him, he asked me several times about me having a boyfriend. I told him no one approaches me; most people who approach me are married men. He kept pressing that I just get someone so I can get married, but I didn’t know he belonged somewhere. (He did not belong anywhere; he is just kind-hearted and wanted you to move on with your life)

It was in 2020; there’s a place I used to go for prayers. A woman told me that the person who’s my sponsor belonged to an occult, and he doesn’t want me to get married & he covered my face with a veil so that no single guy will see me, and that I should be careful and not tell him or let him know about what she told me. (The woman is a fake prophetess who told this tale to portray the man as evil and malicious towards the lady.

I kept it to myself at a point. My mum & sister were worried about my relationship with him; they were curious about it they found out we were dating. My mum frowned at it and was angry, so I told him my mum and sister were aware we needed to stop the relationship.

He was not okay with what I told him.

There was a prayer woman my sister introduced us to. The woman also asked me to stop any relationship with him, and she kept praying with me over the issue.

I had to stop the relationship with him in 2022, but he kept on pressing that we should continue and be doing it by the side until I get married, but I refused.

I told him that we should just be friends, on talking terms with nothing else attached, but he wasn’t happy about it, though he helped me through a lot- school, business, my apartment, and financial assistance but presently we are not talking anymore because he blocked my numbers from reaching him because I refused to continue with the relationship, and he said if he can’t have me, no man will. (This is not true)

Bro Gbenga, it’s been hard for me to find someone for a relationship.

I am not getting any younger; a male friend of mine has always told me that I look ugly (This is why she has not attracted any man). She was a bit likeable when she was nubile in her late teens, but as she grew older, she lost that allure, and she was never easy on the eyes) Whenever we speak on video calls, because he’s not a Nigerian, I have prayed and fasted, and I still believe in God’s grace for me.

GSW: Good afternoon, sister. I saw your messages.

She: Good afternoon, sir

GSW: The first one about the man being a cultist is a lie. All the prophecies you received about him are lies. He is just a man who has some money and enjoyed having a relationship with a lady outside of his marriage. I wanted that to be clear. Nobody did any fetish thing to you. The man probably wishes you well more than any other man you have known in this life.

He put up his money on you and supported you for years.

Your relationship may not be “legal” in the eyes of the law and some segments of society, but you will be committing a great crime against him by labelling him an occultist and suddenly making him the reason you don’t have suitors or are not married.

You never had them when you were in school; you never had them when you were younger.

He was all you had, and other married men who wanted the same deal you had with him.

So don’t make excuses by blaming him for suddenly not settling down. It is evil people who do that.

Do you understand me?

She: Yes, sir

GSW: How old are you now?

She: I am 39, sir

GSW: You should have asked him to get you a husband when you were with him. Or have children with him. I am very candid in the way I discuss these things, so please don’t be offended. If I cannot be truthful with you, I wouldn’t reply to your messages.

She: I told him to introduce me to a friend who’s good, but he always refused

GSW: He loves you. Or loved you. I understand that, but you should have pressed.

GSW: Unless he knows that his friends or those he knows will just sleep with you and dump you, and he didn’t want that

She: I told him I want to have children for him; he refused

GSW: The marriage market is saturated with women as things stand. How many years were you with him?

She: For 15yrs. Bro Gbenga, there’s something that baffles me: where he is concerned, whenever I go out with another man, he knows where I went and whom I went out with (Her unfaithfulness to him is most likely the reason he refused to marry her or allow her to have children for him. he knew she was sleeping with other men, and he called her attention to it often, but she saw it as being monitored by a married man who was just sleeping with her)

GSW: That is not juju. It is protecting one’s investment. Men give ladies they are dating that impression. Fifteen years is not a joke, and if you are with someone for that long, you tend to know the person, and you are able to discern some things about the person.

Is he your first love and first lover?

She: When I lie to him that I didn’t go out with any man, he will tell me the exact location and hours I was with the person.

GSW: (That is nothing fetish. It is how men who sent their spouses to school monitor them. He probably paid some guys in your school to keep an eye out for you.

GSW: You started with him at the age of 24? Have you had sex with any other man apart from him?

She: I was 22 when I met him

GSW: Okay. Was he the first man you had sex with?

She: No, sir

GSW: So you have had other single lovers before him? or were those ones too married?

She: Just one single lover before we parted

GSW: For how many years did that last?

She: A few months. I also dated a single guy in 2014; the relationship ended in January 2015

GSW: So this man, did you have sex with other men while you were with him?

She: Yes, sir

GSW: How many?

She: Sincerely, sir, I can’t count

GSW: Okay. Were they single or married?

She: All married

GSW: So it was not for love or marriage, or was it for money and gifts?

She: Just to be with someone as a young girl

GSW: But you were with him, were you not? He was your lover and sponsor from when you were 22 till when you clocked 37, and in between that same time you have had uncountable lovers who are also married men. Is that correct?

She: I was still with him, and he knows my whereabouts and always advises me to be careful with men. We were both in different cities, and I always visit him in Benin, or he comes around to visit me. I took other lovers at will because he is not my husband, and I needed to enjoy myself as a young lady. I had lovers in school, during my IT days in Lagos, and even after school as I started my business.

GSW: I wanted to make you see that he was not a cultist or fetish in any way. While he was sponsoring you, you were sleeping with other men, and he might have suspected, but he stayed with you. He didn’t hurt, threaten, or harm you in any way, and you did this with multiple men to the point that you cannot even count. How, then, is he suddenly a cultist or fetish person after you guys had broken up, simply because you attracted only married men till now, when you are 39 years old? He is just the first of your many lovers, and he is the most consistent. That should not be a crime.

She: Bro Gbenga, please, where is the problem of my marital settlement coming from, sir?

GSW: The problem of marital settlement is not unique to you. I think you know this, and you are just like pretending you don’t. There are many virgins in their forties without a suitor. At least you have had sex and enjoyed the company of men. So you are not the worst off. It is a general problem the world is facing.

Bishop’s children, pastor’s children, etc are all dealing with it. So don’t make it about you. Don’t give the devil the power it does not have over you. It is a problem of demand and supply. Women are everywhere, and men are not. Do you understand?

She: Yes, sir. Bro Gbenga, no single guy looks at me or says hello to me at all.

GSW: Did you see what I just wrote? Which single guy is chasing a 39-year-old woman?. I am not saying it is not happening, but you know it is very scarce. So again, face reality. So you don’t land in depression and become bitter. You are 39 years old. The men who might want to marry you will be from 35-50. Most men in that age bracket are married. Do you understand?

She: Yes, sir

GSW: So while you can find a divorcee or widower who is ready to settle down, or a single guy who is just now ready to settle down, the competition is very fierce. It is not about curses or occult or juju or demons; it is just life and economic plus biological issues.

GSW: So you must position yourself and make declarations about your visibility and marital destiny. Not complain and blame others.

She: Alright, sir

GSW: Position yourself means do active investigations and make enquiries about men who are single around you. Then pray and make yourself accessible and available to them (not for sex), but with acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, win their hearts over to yourself. Pray daily and make declarations about this until it is done.

Do you understand?

She: Yes, sir, I do

GSW: Women win men over by being available, visible, thoughtful gestures, and nonverbal communication. Men are the ones who declare their intentions verbally. Like Ruth to Boaz. Be intentional. Dont sit down and say a man will locate me or come for me. Talk to men in your family or in the church or community where you are about settling down, and let them recommend available men to you. Make sure you brush up on your good character and feminine attributes both in looks and in behaviour. Don’t be picky; be grateful if you find a good man who is willing to commit to you in marriage, or you can choose to be a flourishing single and fulfil your destiny.

You can choose not to let marriage define you.

She: God bless you, sir, for clarity. I am not a very friendly or social person, but I will work on the things you have said, and I can see now that my being single is not a spiritual attack. God bless you, sir.

PS: So many people run with fake prophecies because it is more convenient for them to believe that than to face the truth. You cannot be deceived unless you choose to be. You owe yourself a duty of truth so that you can navigate your pathway in life with clarity. Learn how to feed your soul the truth today.

-GSW-