I travelled for my master’s in the UK in 2014
After my first semester, I came to Nigeria to spend the holiday with my parents
There was a bank transaction I was supposed to do at a bank before returning to the Uk
I went to the bank to do it, and while in the queue at customer service, I met this lady
She was beautiful and had a very good energy all around her
The transaction I went to do required that I switch to my Nigerian sim card so I could get an alert
I needed to open the sim pouch
I approached her to lend me one of her earrings to open the pouch
She readily agreed with a smile
We both walked out of the bank at the same time
I thanked her for her help and asked her where she was headed
She said Shangisha
We live in Magodo phase 2, so I offered her a ride
We got talking
She told me about her business, her siblings and all
I didn’t say much
We exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch
I called her later that evening when I was feeling bored
I picked her up at Mama Cass, outside of the Magodo Phase II general gate
We went to CMD to have a meal and talk some more
She has a very good brain, and she spoke so well
I dropped her off at the same spot where I picked her up because she said she needed to run some errands before returning home
I told my mum about her that evening
My mum asked me where she lives, and I said Shangisha
My mum smiled and said the poor side of Shangisha or the rich side
I said Shangisha was Shangisha to me
I didn’t know there was a poor part and a rich part
She was the first to call me the next morning
She thanked me for the previous day and invited me to watch a movie with her at ICM
I picked her up in the evening, and we had a great time at the movies
When we got back in my car, we turned our heads and kissed for the first time without any awkwardness
I was giddy with delight
We went out daily for two weeks
I spent every evening with her and it was always a pleasant experience
I always look forward to spending more time with her
In all these we kept the conversation on the present
I never asked about her past or family background or to know her house or to meet anyone from her family
She tried to tell me about her folks, but from experience, I felt it was better we know each other very well and deepen our feelings before bringing in third parties
One evening, I dropped her off and drove into Magodo Phase II as usual, but I had a brain wave and decided to turn the car around and trace her from Association Avenue, where I dropped her, to her house
I turned around and drove towards Association Avenue
I saw her walking down the tarred road, and I followed her
She got to a point where the road was no longer motorable
I parked and followed her
Her walk took her far away from Shangisha, into Ketu, and almost into Agility
I had walked for an hour and a few minutes before she finally opened the gate of a house and walked in.
I walked back to my car with sadness
Everything in me knew she can never be the woman for me
Our worlds were like Heaven and Earth
The gap was too far
There was no way she would cope in my world
It will be like throwing a sardine into a pool full of sharks
Where would she start from?
The next day, she called me in the morning, and I asked if I could pick her up at home
She said she was already on the way out, but she would meet me at Mama Cass by 11 AM
I picked her up from there, and this time I asked her to tell me about her family
She said her father used to be rich but was currently battling a stroke, her mother was a full-time housewife who had to start selling smoked plantain, corn, potatoes, and fish
She said she was a beneficiary of Governor Fashola’s skill acquisition programme, and she has her own cobbling business
She had nine siblings, and she was the first child
She was trusting God for a husband who would build a good life with her
I listened hard
She was honest and dishonest at the same time
Honest with her words and situation but dishonest with her claim that she lived in Shangisha
She had been dishonest from day one.
I spent the whole day with her, but I made sure I dropped her off at her usual stop by 8 pm
I went home, still turning the situation round in my mind
The next morning, she called me by 8 AM
I didn’t have the strength to pick
She called and called
She sent text messages and even tried calling with other numbers (there was no WhatsApp at this time)
I couldn’t bring myself to pick her call
The baggage was too real and I wouldn’t saddle myself with that kind of a burden at the age of twenty five
My holiday was over a few weeks after that and I returned to the UK.
She searched for me on Facebook and sent me friend requests from several accounts
Even her friends and relatives did (I noticed a flurry of names with the same surname or similar tribe etc
buzzing around my account around that time)
I didn’t accept any of them
I know she was hurt, but I believe that hurt is better than the one that would follow if I took her home to my parents or to meet my friends or anywhere else.
The disparity was too much, and the promise my future held was for much more than that.
I am sending this to you because I saw your post earlier on people of the same class marrying each other
I believe it is the right thing to do for your health and sanity in the long run.

PS: I am happily married now with children
I can say that I am happy, and I believe my wife is happy too
I understand the world I got married into, and so did my wife
The way I loved that lady, with all the butterflies and the shortness of breath, was not the way I love my wife
I, however, believe I made the right choice
Thank you, sir.