After years of mining the streets for green gold in exchange for sexual pleasure, most ladies set a target
I am 22 years old now, living this lifestyle in which I sleep with all sorts of men for money and fun
I will do this for the next six years or seven years or eight years or ten years, and then I will stop because I desire to get married by 28, 30, 32
Once this determination is locked in, the young lady then throws herself into the whirlwind of adventures and exposes herself to all sorts of experiences
Some die an untimely death in the pursuit of this timeline
Some become injured without any form of remedy
Some pick up venereal diseases that redefine their lives forever
Some, however, get lucky; they meet someone in the course of their fun-seeking activities who would love them and take them off the streets with a wedding ring on their fingers
Some get to travel abroad to continue the life they chose or to be the wife of someone as they bid farewell to the sowing of wild oats season
However, some get to the age of 32 or 35 and realise they are not wanted by anyone
Some are lucky, they still have a married man or two reaching out to them, asking for a bit of their time and attention in exchange for money
This was not what they wanted, but they took it because it was better than being alone
They expect a suitor to come calling, sometimes many do, and sometimes none does
When many do, they find it difficult to settle for that one for one reason or the other

A lady said the guys she met were too timid
She said, “After my stint on the street, I settled down and found myself a good job. It is expected that when a lady is beautiful and also has a good job, men would naturally see her as an asset and rush to her feet, but this was not the case for me
The men who kept calling were rich married men who wanted to sleep with me in exchange for material things
I turned some of them down, but there are some, like the Chairman of the Board of my company, who sent a driver to pick me up the day after our general board meeting
I didn’t know how to say no to such a man
I just picked up my overnight bag, jumped into the Rolls-Royce, and it was an unforgettable experience
i left him the next morning with fifty thousand dollars in my bag and some vouchers that gave me access to some international lounges when I travel
This was not what I wanted out of life, but it was what life kept throwing at me
The other kinds of guys I met were too intimidated by my status and beauty
We get talking, and I have to be the one to take the conversation towards intimacy and other things
I know they want to be with me
They hang around me and chat me up as if we were friends, but I knew they wanted more than that
Some of them are afraid that if they ask me out and I get offended by their forwardness, I could pick up my phone a call their MD or someone who would then sack them or give them hell at their offices
So they are careful around me
How can I then say I want to marry any one of such guys?
I keep them around for when I need sex or a cuddle or someone to run an errand for me or for that urgent 50K or 100K
I have this thing I do to guys that I know want to be with me, or who I had slept with, and I know wanted to sleep with me again
I would call such a guy and tell him to transfer a certain amount to me urgently, i may say my bank app is not working ot my ATM card has been forgotten at home and the ATM card with me is for an account which I didn’t fund but which needed funding urgently so that I could buy what I needed to buy
If the guy sends it immediately, I would tell him thank you, and then I will do it again for him the next day
If a guy refuses to send it, I will tell him another guy has sent me the money, and I was disappointed in him, just to keep him on his toes
Some guys were so desperate to sleep with me that they bore all my drama and would still call and send messages so that I would keep them in mind
Some get tired of the stringing along and stop reaching out after a short while
I keep guys around because I find them handy
Not always for sex but for other things like their Netflix password, Prime movie password, internet subscription, my car’s repair, or getting a car to use while the one I drive is being repaired, changing my phone, and so on
Men are the most available currency I have as a young woman, and I know how to spend them
I wonder why God didn’t answer my prayer for a husband
My mother prayed and prayed, my father prayed and prayed, I also prayed fervently, but I didn’t get the husband material that I desired
I had boys who swarm around me like locusts, married men who took me out on trips for pleasure, and toasters who ask me out, go out on a date with me, and then ghosts as if they saw something unbefitting in me that they don’t want to be a part of
A husband was supposed to stay and take his wife out of whatever hole she had dug herself into
A husband is supposed to have the kind of money that would never make his wife wonder where the next meal is coming from
A husband is supposed to be commanding, domineering, someone a woman would drop everything for, and regain focus
I searched and searched everywhere for a husband, but I didn’t get one

It didn’t occur to her that that kind of marriage was just a desire for her and not in her destiny
She could be married, but the only kind of husband that would really make her happy and contented was the rich married ones she had in her life already
She said she and her mother went to a church when she was a teenager, and the pastor told her he saw her sometime in the future, married to a pastor and leading the women in a particular church
She asked if the vision could still come to pass
The vision was not from God, it was from the pastor, who saw a pretty young lady and felt the altar would one day benefit from her being an altar vixen
Her desire to get married is at best a fantasy
She had so learnt the street that she had gained mastery of the art of manipulation and sexual domination of men
Such a woman can never thrive with one man unless we are determined to dig an early grave for such a man
She can only fly in the position she has found herself
She is a blood relative of Circe, turning men to monkeys and wasting their time for as long as they would allow until they open their eyes for themselves and run far from her
She cannot knock on the door of desire for marriage and expect it to open
She was destined to dwell on an island where stray men and lost seamen would come to her for life lessons until she fades with time and is no more
That is what the weavers of fate predetermined for Circe, and that is her lot too.

PS: Sometimes we have to accept our fate and enjoy the life we have built for ourselves with contentment.
Insisting on getting married when you know you lack everything it takes to be a wife is subjecting yourself to a life of frustration.
Godliness with contentment is a great gain.
Especially now that you No are born again, if you cannot submit to your own husband in truth, please keep away from marriage.
Submission is the key that makes a Christian man love his wife
You cannot ask your husband to love you as an equal, he can only love you truly as Christ loves the church.
Since this is too much for you to bear, please enjoy the grace of being single.

-GSW-