You become successful by changing your attitude, behaviour, environment, relationships, interractions and mindset
This change leads to new experiences, and the new experiences lead to success
A Christian sister I know is racing towards her forties
She is financially independent and an heir to her parents’ fortune as their only child
She does not get suitors easily because 1) She is very rich, and most men are intimidated by wealthy women
Her previous relationships ended because she would, at a point during the relationship, begin to wonder if the man loved her or her wealth
She will then check the man’s phone and peruse his messages
From the conversations the man had with others concerning her, she then deduces whether the man loves her or not
She also does this to know if the man is faithful
I noticed this pattern, and I called her
We had a long counselling session together, and I told her the way she had been behaving was unbecoming of a woman of means.
When a man is dating a rich single woman from a prominent family, most people accuse the man of being a gold digger or a lackey or simp, especially if he didn’t come from money or have his own wealth
The man, therefore, must deliberately try to sound macho or in charge of the relationship when conversing with his family members and friends
A friend may ask, “How are you coping with your sugar mummy?”
If your man answers “Fine.”
You will feel insulted because that means he is tacitly agreeing that you are a sugar mummy
If your man replies, “She is not my sugar mummy, I love her.”
The friend will reply, “Be deceiving yourself. We know better.”
No matter how your man replies, you won’t truly know how he feels about it from that conversation
If you read your man’s conversations with his mother and his mother wrote, “Are you sure that lady is not using your destiny or glory like this?
A rich girl like that is not rich, and you are rushing into marriage with her.
Can’t you hold on and pray well so that you don’t lose your life over this person?
She will be controlling you, and you will never truly enjoy being married to her
You will read it and be discouraged
This conversation is not yours to read
We all know how we manage our family members when they interfere in our issues.
We know how to write or talk to convince our parents to see things our way.
Our parents will say what they think because this is their duty, and we will reply with wisdom
A third party reading that conversation can never truly form a conclusion on the matter
So stop snooping into people’s phones as you have previously done
Just accept love when it comes and set aside your insecurities
We talked, and she said okay
She made me a promise
We prayed together, and God answered
Out of nowhere, a man showed up
They fell in love, and we began to plan the wedding of the century
Seven months into the relationship aunty went to snoop in his phone again
She read the conversation between the man and his mother
His mother wrote, “Make sure you pray very well before marrying this woman. Don’t be blinded by her money and family fortune. Don’t rush in where others ran away. Slow down the process for at least six months and see if she is the one for you. Is she patient, is she kind, will she be a wife indeed, etc.?
The son wrote, “Mummy dont worry. If this didn’t work out, I will walk away. I am not going to allow anyone to put me under her thighs. I know you are worried about me, but I am a big boy, and I know how to take care of myself.”
The mother wrote, “How will you take care of yourself?”
The son replied, “I can always marry another wife or get a divorce or have a mistress” if this marriage turns out to be hell for me. But so far, there are no signs of that.”
The mother replied, “I truly hope you know what you are doing.”
The son replied, “Relax, mum, I’ve got this.”
The sister screen-grabbed all these
She also looked at the chats between this man and his friend and siblings
All of them expressed similar reservations
He also responded to them in the context of his relationship with them
The sister said his mother does not like her, and her siblings are warning him about her
His friends are not in full support
She now has evidence that he was just deceiving her
She called off the relationship
It followed the same pattern all the other relationships followed to a T
It makes no sense
You are thirty-eight years old
Woman!!!
People will ask questions, and some will even be hostile to your face
Other people’s opinion is irrelevant here
What they say is not important
You face the person you are dealing with
If you check his message, and you notice a younger lady is also chasing him, or he is chasing a younger lady.
Intensify your effort and win him to your side
Don’t say “I can’t contend for a man.”
You have a duty to convince those who didn’t believe in your union, especially the relatives of your spouse, that he or she is making the right choice
We must tell each other the truth
There is no wisdom in continuing in a pattern and not changing your modus operandi as a woman or as a man in a relationship
The sister is single again, and I know she is reading this
Dear Sister, if you get another opportunity
Handle it in a different way.
-GSW-