There are men who know in their heart they are users of women and would never settle for marriage with any woman.
They have a record of asking a lady out, being agreeable with her until she moves in with them, and then they keep her at their lair for as long as possible.
She does all the wifely duties and goes through all the wifely stress for as long as she continues to delude herself that the relationship was heading somewhere.

The moment the woman dares to ask why the man has made no move to meet with her family members and make things official, everything changes.
He begins to spot her faults and pick quarrels with her until he frustrates her out of his house
This process ends in tears for the lady and defiance for the man
He insists nobody should force him to be in a relationship with someone he does not want to be married to, but he was comfortable with the arrangement as long as the lady was also down with it
Nuptials are scary for some men
The thought of signing that dotted line that gives a woman the right to their name and declares them accountable to that woman sends a chilling signal down their spine
Such men profess a desire to get married and have a family, but they cannot
In order for one to be married and to be truly committed to the marriage in all its glory, one has to be free

Such men are not free
They are bound to certain demons from their past with so strong and fierce a hold on them that no outside influence could deliver them from such
That we see people dressed up and functional in some aspects of life does not make them capable of functioning in other aspects of life
Such people are best left alone to heal, but desperate ladies see such men as their opportunity to become married
A man who is living alone, mature, able to hold down a job, and drives a car?
What is not to love?
The problem is the lack of insight from those who are chasing such a man
If he were that easy to get married to, would you have met him single?
The fact that ladies hover around single men with serious psychological issues ruins the healing process of such a man
He does not see himself as needing serious introspection, which would enable him to sort out the chaos within his mental space
A man says he does not like sleeping alone in his own bed, and as a result of this, he has ladies on call who would come and spend the night with him willingly in exchange for a fee
You meet such a man and he shares this with you, asking you to move in with him so that he would stop spending so much on these other women, and you gladly move in, believing in your heart that you are making a sacrifice for love
You said he is a needy and emotional man
A soft man who is vulnerable with you
You overlook his other obvious flaws, you are here now, you are here to stay, and all the demons of the past will do well to respect your presence and keep far away from him
He gets what he wanted
A mother who would tend to his little boy’s psyche and help keep the demons away
Every little boy, however, must strive to grow and make his own friends away from his mummy
This is why he continues to cheat on the woman whom he has come to see as a representative of his mother in his life
The woman asks why he still cheats despite all the sacrifices she has made for the two of them
She forgets he is dealing with realities way beyond his control
He is a polygamist at heart; it is the only way he can truly function, and it is the only cure to his malady
The little boy in him needs a mother desperately y and the young man in him needs a lover
As long as he has only one of the two, the other part of him will also cry for satisfaction
He does not know this, it is just who he is and what he needed at the state where he is to be able to have a semblance of a balanced life
The lady he is dating felt she should be enough, but nobody can ever be for someone who has been as traumatized as him by the lack of an affectionate mother when he was younger
It was the lack of maternal love that caused him to stop growing at the age of eight, and the desire for maternal love that made him prefer dating plus-sized women who would help him continue his growth process so that he could move from that stunted boy into an adolescent.

The best cure for him was time and space
To be alone for at least two years without dating anyone
To face his own demons and deal with them with ample time to heal and come out of the dungeon he had locked himself in
If he does not take this route, he must remain unmarried with at least two women in his life per a time or date one woman and continue to cheat on her for his own satisfaction
From the outside, all these seem to some of us as a little too much
However, when a man or woman is damaged from within and they heal the wrong way, the misuse of the body is a natural consequence.

What is predestined and what is desired clash in the reality of such a man
He desires to be married, but he is wired to fail in marriage because being married would not satisfy the urge eating at him from the inside.

There are men and women who, by all standards, are undamaged by the vicissitudes of life
There are men and women who, by all standards, are extremely damaged by the vicissitudes of life
The wise man or woman who has not been damaged would do well to keep far away from the damaged ones
Some of those who are not damaged think they can heal every wounded and feed every stray bit they learn the hard way that damaged folks need much more than physical comfort and love
They need to heal, and in order to heal properly, they must heal alone
Damaged people can only wreak havoc on others emotionally, the undamaged should not get involved with the damaged
The damaged are better off alone until they find another damaged person with whom they can bargain a future
This does not exclude Christians who are born again and full of the Holy Spirit
Psychological and emotional damage can be healed easily if the individual yields himself or herself to the Holy Spirit for a period of time and allows himself or herself to be purged by the word of God and healed by the water of life

Many don’t allow for this process, they become born again and continue to live their lives as they had always lived it even before they met the Lord
A spiritual life and a carnal mind combine to create a mixed reality
A man of the Spirit whose mind is riddled with the piercings and bloodied scars of life.
No wonder the great singer wrote, “Would you be free from the burden of sin…There is power in the blood of the lamb”

-GSW-