She met him right after her divorce. It was as if he knew or as if God sent him into her life to help her deal with the pain of transitioning out of a season of pain into a season of ease. She was married to an impotent man for five years She was already thirty-three years old when she met her ex-husband It was a proper church courtship and wedding the one that led to the marriage bed being undefiled, Her husband was an ardent worshipper and so was she.
The general overseer of the church they were both attending called her attention to the fact that a brother in the church was interested in her She was not the kind of lady who could pick and choose spouses, She was beautiful and had a very good job but she did not find relationships as easy as she did in her career and life. She was the kind of girl guys would prefer to make friends with than date.
She didn’t know what she did wrong or how she portrayed herself to the other gender but that was her story Whenever a guy showed up, which was once in a year or twice in a year They have lunch or dinner, go to the movies once or twice and then their interest fades, that had been her story since her undergraduate days.
When she clocked thirty, her mother called her and asked her what the issue was She tearfully narrated the story of how no guy had deemed it fit to look under the hood or even get close to trying She had not known what a kiss felt like or the roving hands of any man underneath her blouse Was it not called “making out”? That thing that young ladies and young men do in their formative years that will end in the lady telling the guy to stop or it is okay or it is enough and the guy would groan and pull her close and kiss her deep and then kiss her neck and unbutton her shirt while looking for places for his finger and his hand to touch to feel the unique softness of her body, That thing that parents dread and would be looking out through the windows and the car parked out front with their daughter or their son in it with the other party? She watched it a lot in movies but was never lucky to experience it.
Her mother prayed with her and assured her the right man would come He didn’t until right after her thirty-third birthday. By this time, her mother had done a lot of fasting and praying and also forced her to meet with the General Overseer of their church who insisted she had to fast and pray and undergo a series of deliverance sessions because the enemies were the ones who were blocking her path to marital success in life.
It was the same General Overseer who met this man and decided to match them She accepted the proposal with joy and made up her mind to love the man God had given to her through the General overseer As things turned out, her man was not difficult to love He was very handsome and friendly He lights up any room effortlessly She was enamoured with him at first sight, There was nothing he would have asked her to do that she would not have done. He was an accountant who was working with one of the biggest firms in the world. He was thirty-five She felt like God had preserved the best for her as compensation for her many days of tears and sorrow. They courted for a year He would come and visit her with one of the pastors as chaperone and she would go and visit him with one of the deaconesses as chaperone She fantasized on many occasions that the two of them eloped or did some underhand things together during the courtship Of course, she did not make these thoughts known to him She always asked the Lord for forgiveness of sins after having such thoughts.
Eventually, they got through the courtship, counselling and prayer sessions and got a date for the marriage. On the wedding night, her husband did all the things she fantasized about with hands, mouth and fingers He however claimed to be too tired to give her the main course The day after, it was the same On the third night, she discovered he was as flaccid as a shirt on a hanger She asked him what was wrong and he said nothing was wrong with him He said it was her fault that she had been lying down like a log of wood instead of playing her role to prepare him for the grand entrance She believed him and apologized She had no experience whatsoever in a practical sense, even though she had seen a video or two and thought the process was supposed to be automatic. That very day she saw some videos and learnt one or two things about her role on the bed With eagerness, she showered and dressed up in her most seductive nightdress He came to bed and they got at it all over again She did everything she could but the plane refused to leave the runway, He said he had been with other women before her and could be with another woman besides her but he found himself unable to get it up for her.
After a month of constantly trying, he moved out of the room in order to avoid her constant desire to try He would say he read a book and he needed to keep to himself for a month for his body to recover He would travel for three months or even six months claiming it was for work Whenever he was at home, he would lock himself in a room all day until he was sure she had slept before creeping into the bed and sleeping as far away from her as possible She endured for three years One day her mother asked her why she had not conceived yet and she told her mother she had never had sex. Her mother asked her why she had been so quiet and she told her mother the church taught them that marriage was for life. She said she had accepted her fate and had decided to just focus on her career. Her mother screamed at her and stormed straight to the General Overseer’s office. She didn’t know what her mother discussed with the General Overseer but the following Sunday, she and her husband were invited to his office.
They both told their parts of the story Her husband claimed he was able to sleep with other women apart from her The General Overseer told him to provide proof of this He said he could not but the problem was with her He said she was the one who had something in her life or body that made it impossible for him to sleep with her She showed the General Overseer the pictures of all the herbs and medicines he had been taking in secret to correct erectile dysfunction He had bought a fridge and kept it in the boy’s quarters of their house he also kept his game console there and pretended to go there to play video games while all he kept there were his drugs He had deceived her into marrying him and kept deceiving and gas lighting her even to the face of the General Overseer of their church.
They dragged the marriage on and on like a dead cat for another year His family members got involved and so did hers His mother defended him and protected him as much as a mother would under the circumstances. She realized that they were counting on her accepting her fate by staying with him or leaving the marriage. They were not willing to tell the truth, they insisted she was the one with the problem. Their claim really traumatized her She became willing to cheat on him but she didn’t know how to go about it.
Eventually, she has had enough She filed for an annulment of the marriage and moved out of their flat In all she had spent five of her most productive years with him The day she left was both a day of deep regret and relief She was eventually able to do the right thing to preserve her sanity When she got to the office the day after she moved her things out of his house, she found a man waiting for her at the reception When he was buzzed in to see him, he introduced himself as the manager of the company next door, They spoke for a bit and he took her phone number.
Later that evening, as she was stepping out of the office, she found him waiting for her at the car park. He asked if she would ride in his car while his driver drove her car behind them as he desired to take her to dinner. She had nothing better to do He drove her home, ensured her car was parked, waited for her to freshen up and change her attire then took her to a restaurant for dinner. After the dinner, they did some dancing and he kissed her At first, she was too stunned to return the favour but on the second try she caught on Later that night, when he saw her off to her front door, she invited him into the house and slept with him She just needed to know nothing was wrong with her She knew it but she needed to prove it to herself and that was the only way she could She made no demand of him and knew she was a bit reckless with the choice she made She also found it to be the most satisfying decision she had made in her adult life.
He was back at her door the next morning, they drove to work together and when they returned home that evening, he started taking off his shirt right from her main entrance. She could not get enough of him He was always there, present, ready and responsible, they had been having sex for a week before she decided they needed to do some tests The results came out and it was satisfactory She told him her story, He told her his, He told her he had a child from a previous relationship but he had never been married. He was forty-five years old. Started his own hedge fund management company and had been doing well for five years He also told her he had a lady in his life whom he had been talking to for the last three years. He said the lady was stood up at the altar by her previous boyfriend and she was introduced to him by a friend. He said the lady had been making plans to travel to Nigeria to meet with him as he could not secure a visa to the USA due to the constant changes and delays to their immigration process.
She had no expectations, she just wanted to live each day as it comes. He was however unwavering, He took her to work every day, arranged for his driver to take her parents to events once in a while, met all her needs at will and soon became known as her man. She did not introduce him to anyone as such but people just connected the dots all on their own Even in her office, they knew he was the one.
Months flew by and even after a year he remained a constant, She became confused What does he want with her? In the beginning, she was getting out of a bad marriage and she had some things to prove to herself. She had done that, A year had gone by and her marriage had been formally annulled by the court of law. She was a free agent who should be looking at getting married again The man in her life was unwilling to get married to her He was not even willing to see her as his girlfriend He always told her the one in the USA was the one he had given his word to and he didn’t want to break her heart the way the previous man did.
She asked him to dinner and had a heart-to-heart talk with him She told him she was thirty-nine years old and couldn’t afford to joke around anymore If he was not interested in anything serious with her, she would need him to move on so that she could be open to dating someone else He listened to her patiently and agreed he had been selfish in the way he had been going about things He promised to change The next morning, like clockwork, he was at her door again He said he loved her and couldn’t stay away from her He said she was the only one he was able to tell about his previous relationship that produced a son He said he cannot live without her He also said he could not tell the lady in America it was over because it would break the lady.
He said he does not want to hurt anybody that way She asked him what he expected her to do, He said she should pray the lady in America break up with him by herself She said she could not do that, the decision was in his court to do right by her and the lady, all he had to do was follow his conscience and do the right thing so that everybody can know where they stand He said he knew this but he could not let her go He also said he does not want to be the one to let the lady in the USA go because it will amount to wickedness on his part. She does not know the next step to take Please counsel her
PS: These are believers and I post this expecting to see the spirit of counsel prevail and not judgment of any kind, Kindly read and share a thought as to what you think she should do now Thank you
-GSW-