People seek those who share similar dreams and goals with them to do life with
This is the only way one can truly live and feel fulfilled in life

If, as a young man, you find yourself being friends with a lady who you really like but who does not believe in exclusivity in relationships
She says this to you clearly and without shame
“I don’t believe in one man, one woman, I believe people should have the freedom of association and a right to be with whosoever they want to be with over time.”
It will be very wrong of you to date such a woman and then start fighting her because she didn’t give you “exclusive right” to her attention and emotional commitment.

I have seen men say, “I will cage her once I marry her.”
“She is wild, but I will tame her.” “I will domesticate her”,
“I will put her in her place.”
No, you won’t.
We are all true to our nature and she will be true to hers
If she is not allowed to satisfy her nature in the open, she will do so in secret.
It is best to leave her be and marry the kind of woman who holds the same kind of desire, dreams and future that is similar to yours.

Sometimes you meet a lady who says she desires to be a second or third wife. She says it casually while she was not in any serious relationship. You also notice that whenever you are in a serious relationship, she would draw close to you, be in your DM, call you constantly, and be concerned about you more than she ever was before, but the moment that relationship ends and you are single again, she will draw away from you because she does not want to be your girlfriend like that.
You notice the pattern, and you are not a polygamist by nature. You need to let that friendship die a natural death. You are being groomed by someone who wants something totally different from what you want but does not know how to get it directly, so he or she is hanging around hoping you will adapt to their desire and change your story to fit him or her in.

A man says he is a polygamist by nature, but you are not a woman who desires to share your husband. You then marry him, hoping he would change, or with the hope that the “vow” he took during the wedding would force him to be faithful to you.
Don’t live in a fool’s paradise, dear.
Marrying him will only bring you great pain because the picture of life you have in your heart and the one he will be painting with you will be so different.
It will be like aiming for a Picasso and getting a Pollock!
You will never find joy in the life you are living.

A friend was thirty-five and desperate to get married.
She met a man, an Irishman who owned a farm in America. The man was rich, and he wanted to marry a woman in her early twenties who looked and dressed like a Barbie doll.
The man had been obsessed with Barbie dolls since he was a child.
He took her out on lavish dates and changed her wardrobe
He held nothing back financially, and she was soon thanking God for her good fortunes.
Then he told her she had to do surgeries to really look like he desired
He told her she must reduce her breasts, redo her backside, do a nose job, and adjust her cheekbones.
He was making her fit into the picture he had always had in his head.
She did everything he wanted.
She went under the knife six times until she was carved into the image he desired
Then he locked her up in his mansion in Manchester.
She became a prisoner of his obsession and told her if she ever left him, he would kill her.
She found herself living in his prison for three years
When she eventually reached out for help, it took several plans and strategies to get her out of the man’s clutches
Till today she lives under a false name and address, and she left that relationship empty-handed
She said it was hell on earth, and I reminded her it was the cost you pay for sticking around when somebody had clearly stated to you that they have a contrary picture and dream to your own.

A lady says, “God told me to relocate to London, so I cannot live anywhere else.”
You are convinced God told you to live in Canada, Nigeria, or India.
From the moment she stated what was on her mind, the honorable thing for you to do is say ‘au revoir’.
Don’t stick around until you develop feelings and start seeing yourself as a bird who will be flying to and fro in the name of love.
Poor people like to present themselves as plain canvases where others can paint any picture they want as long as it gets them out of poverty.
Unfortunately, once the poverty is gone, we awaken our basic instincts.

A young actress got married to an older man for financial security.
Her mother orchestrated it because she saw it as their key out of poverty, but she didn’t see herself being married to an old polygamist
Everybody said she would settle down, she would cope
She didn’t.
She began to use drugs and engage in other deviant behaviours as a coping mechanism
She gave no one any form of peace until she left the marriage
People wrote about it and talked about it all they wanted, but she chose not to fit into another person’s story.

She did what was right for her!

Do what is right for you. Don’t wear a shoe with a nail in it because you don’t want to disappoint others or because you want to fit in.
When the shoe is not your size, let it go, no matter how beautiful it is to the eyes
If you are dating someone or friends with someone, and you can see clearly that their destination in life is not where you are heading to
Or that the picture of the life they desire to live does not fit into the picture of the kind of life you desire to live
Don’t reroute to please them and displease yourself
You have this one life to live

Please live it.

PS: When a man or woman has not discovered his or her identity, they end up living another person’s life.

-GSW-