So many women today absolutely hate being told to offer even the most basic kindness to their husbands.

A troubling percentage of pastors encourage them in this wickedness.

This is really sad.

Many ladies attend a church for many years, and they fall in love with their pastor.

He becomes the model picture of who they want to submit to, obey at all costs, and impress.

This pastor is married, and there is nothing sexual between him and the ladies, but he has taken possession of their agency and ability to make sound decisions.

He tells them that the man they must marry must submit to another man, “his pastor,” and be under the covering of this other man in the name of accountability.

You hear phrases like “Don’t marry a man who does not have a spiritual cover or a father in the faith to whom he is accountable to”

There is nothing Biblical about this, but that does not matter.

The pastor then programmes the ladies on giving. In some cases, the man who wants to marry them must agree to send his tithes and offerings to the church she is attending

This is also unbiblical, but it does not really matter.

You ask the lady to marry you, and she says you must first take permission from her pastor. He is like a father to her and must approve of you.

(She has a living father and mother, but their opinion does not count as much as that of the pastor)

You get married to her, and she will argue with you on everything, but do whatever the pastor says without question.

Cases I know:

1. The Church declares a hundred days of fasting and prayer. On day 40, the husband wants to have sex with his wife. Wife says no, and it leads to a fight. Wife tells the pastor. Husband reports to the pastor. Pastor tells wife it is okay. Wife then agrees.

2. The church declares a hundred days of fasting. On day 50 of the fast, the wife discovers she has gotten pregnant and begins to panic. “Ha, I am in trouble. The pastor will say I didn’t participate in the fast and scold me or use me as the topic of his sermon.”

3. Husband tells wife not to wear a particular kind of gym wear. Wife argues that there is nothing wrong with it. Wife goes to the gym and meets the pastor there. Pastor says, “Did your husband see you in this gym wear and approve of it? Please don’t wear it anymore. Wife stops wearing it.

It has gotten so bad that the pastor is the second factor of authentication for wives who would rather take the pastor’s opinion or counsel on issues relating to their lives, marriages, business, and children than that of their husbands.

A wife would counter her husband’s points with “I discussed it with the pastor, and he said….”

Even on very personal issues like getting an IUD and how many times to sleep with her husband in a week.

As someone who has counselled thousands of men and women and hundreds of married couples, it is disheartening to note that if you give most wives the room to bare it all in the name of counselling, they would do so without any reservation as long as they feel they are in a safe space.

Pastors are the safe space of many, and the things they would not tell God or their husbands are known by their pastors.

“You are my pastor, sir. I cannot lie to you,” but she is lying to her husband, and the pastor knows this.

The pastor knows she committed paternity fraud, while the husband has no idea.

The pastor knows where all the skeletons are buried, while the husband is in the dark about it all.

Before she leaves that marriage, the pastor is aware, even though the husband has no idea.

Pastor has gone to bless the apartment she would be moving to, even when the husband didn’t know the marriage was dead.

Pastor blessed her travel documents, and knew she would be leaving the country before her husband became aware of this.

To come between some women and their pastors is tantamount to coming between a Nasgull and its meal.

You might actually lose your life for daring to try.

The greatest idols in Christianity today are Pastors!

Many Christians practically worship their pastors and have almost no true knowledge of God outside of what their pastor says.

It is well.

-GSW-