Picked up my boys from school this morning for their midterm break

Me: Boys, how were your results for midterm tests

Older boy: I did good.

Younger boy: He did good

Me: Mathematics?

Older Boy: That Script is not out yet

Younger Boy: They have not given him the script for that yet

Me: Why are you answering for your older brother

Younger boy: Sir, you said if he does not pass mathematics, we will not have summer vacation. So, we are all studying and preparing for the tests together. I know we did good this time

Older Boy: But I am in Arts class now and we don’t really need math like that

Me: You must still have at least a credit in it

Silence…

Me: What did you score in Agric?

Older Boy: I don’t do it

Me: What about Biology?

Older Boy: I don’t do it

Me: What about CRK?

Older Boy: 20/20

Me: Government?

Older Boy: 19/20

Me: Civics?

Older Boy: 20/20

Me thinking what other subjects do they do in this new curriculum?

Older Boy: Daddy, you did Arts too, right?

Me: Yes, I did

Older Boy: What did you score in Mathematics?

Me: My summer vacations were spent in Awe, I was hawking pepper and yams and local sponge, and so on for my grandmother.

Older Boy: Daddy, what did you score in Mathematics, sir?

Me: (I increased the volume of the music playing and started singing along)

Older Boy: Daddy?

Me: When we get home, remember you will be washing this car, you must make yourself useful on this break. I love you

Older Boy: Daddy? What did you score in math

I ignored and whistled.

There are things that a father has a right to demand of his children. One of them is that they must do better than he did in life, starting with a credit in mathematics.

PS: I was with a family in the United Kingdom last year

The man’s first son was the president of a bank

The man himself was a farmer

One evening, he picked up his phone at about midnight and told his son to come and see him

The son abandoned everything and rushed to the remote village where the father lives

When the son arrived, his father told him that he had invited him over so that he could meet with me before I returned to Nigeria the next day

I met with the son, and we spoke for over an hour before he returned home

I then turned to the man and I said, “Wow, I pray I will one day have children who will respect and regard me the way your son did.”

The man looked at me and said, “When you live a life that inspires, the first set of people to catch the glow will be your children.

You will not have to explain yourself to them; they will look at your life and fill in the gaps for themselves. This is what builds up your legend as a father.”

PS: As a father, you can be friends with your children, but you can also be more than a friend. You can be a hero, a legend, their greatest example.

Doing this requires a delicate balance between telling them everything and allowing them to figure things out for themselves.

You don’t build a legend with words; this is why God keeps quiet many times when we ask him questions about the things he knows we can figure out for ourselves.

-GSW-