They got married. His Wife took his name. Mother-In-Law who bears her husband’s full name told her daughter she is disappointed, the daughter took the husband’s name without even adding a bit of her father’s name to it. Husband told mother-In-law that he didn’t have an issue with whose name his wife bears. Mother-In-law turn to daughter and said “So is it marriage that is freaking you so much that you choose to ignore your father’s name” Daughter said “Mummy, you have other daughters. They can keep the name if they want, as for me, I am keeping my husband’s name” Two years later, the woman’s only son was getting married It was a whole family affair. People flew in from all over the world to attend the wedding After the wedding, she noticed that her new daughter-in-law is still bearing her father’s name She made it a big issue Her son said he had an agreement with his wife on the name issue and he is fine with his wife not changing her name. The mother turned to the daughter-in-law and said “You may think you can put my son’s head under your laps, I will show you that I have deep roots as a woman”. The marriage didn’t last two years. The daughter-in-law eventually moved out.

She couldn’t cope with the strife anymore: The first daughter couldn’t believe that her mother would go that far to ruin her brother’s marriage. She travelled to see her mother with the intention of discussing any form of ceasefire that would allow her brother’s marriage a change of survival. Her mother said “I have four of you. Three girls and one boy. You chose to change your name to your husband’s name and I kept quiet. Your sisters also changed their names to their husbands’ names when they got married. I accepted it. My son then got married and his wife said she will be keeping her father’s name. So what then remains of your father’s name? Do you want it to come to ruin? You want it to disappear? Your siblings follow in your footsteps and your liberalism has infected them. I am only trying to preserve your father’s name and if you love your father you should be doing the same.

The first daughter returned to her husband’s house deeply troubled. Her mother had a point It might not make sense to many, but it made sense to her that her father’s name is preserved. She went to the local government and got two new birth certificates for her children (by claiming the previous ones got lost) In their surname, she inserted her father’s name So that each child now has a compound surname comprising of her maiden name and their father’s name as their surname When her husband saw it, he protested. She reminded him that she changed from her surname to his name willingly. He told her he didn’t ask her to and still didn’t see anything wrong with her going back to her maiden name He said he would not however tolerate his children bearing her maiden name The two boys must bear his name. She insisted He pushed back It became a big issue that the church and relatives waded into but couldn’t resolve. She got separated and moved back to her parents house with the children. The husband filed for divorce The court ruled that the children belonged to their father and must keep his name. She reverted back to her father’s name Her brother remarried and the new wife willingly changed her to her husband’s name. Her sisters also got divorced and returned home. They changed their names to their father’s name. Their mother was happy, she had given her late husband a befitting heritage. All his children and even his new daughter in law are bearing his name.

Three years later, at the age of fifty seven, their mother met a widow while on holiday in the South of France. It was a whirlwind romance that swept her off her feet within two months. Her husband owned an orchard and several huge farms in Italy. He proposed to her and they got married. As soon as they got married their mother changed her name to her new husband’s name She said she felt it was the right thing to do.

-GSW-