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The Debt of Waiting for Your Feelings to Agree
You can know that a relationship needs to end, that a job isn’t right, or that a decision has to be made and still feel unable to act on what
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The Debt of Making Meaning From Everything
We like to believe every painful experience contains a lesson. After something goes wrong, we often return to it looking for the explanation that will make the experience feel worthwhile.
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The Debt of Leaving the Door Open
This is one of the hardest debts to recognise because it can look like hope. You leave room for the person who hurt you, keep thinking about the career you
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Leadership is not dictatorship.
Ploughing yourself forward through everyone else without stopping to consider their opinions or feelings is not masculinity. It’s not leadership. It’s not “being a man.” It’s just being a socially
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Calling Jealousy “Motivation”
This one gets a much better publicist. Jealousy is ugly, while ambition is admirable, so we rename jealousy. You start getting invited to rooms you have been trying
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Treating Another Person’s Success as Evidence of Your Failure
Jealousy gets worse when you start thinking someone else’s success leaves less for you. Someone gets the promotion, and you feel like you lost. Someone buys the house, and you
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Pretending You Are Happy for Everyone
A colleague you trained gets promoted before you do. You smile, hug them, and say, “I’m so happy for you,” while somewhere deep inside, a tiny committee has begun reviewing
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Feeling Ashamed of Being Jealous
The second habit makes jealousy even harder to deal with: we feel ashamed of feeling it. We’ve been taught that jealousy says something ugly about us. If you envy the
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Confronting The Double Standard
Have you ever heard a man tell a woman, “You need to step up and be a mother to my children”? Probably not. And if you did hear it, people
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How To Think Clearly
Thinking clearly is an art. It’s also a skill. To stay on the right side of thought, I need to recognise the dangerous habits that can undermine or destroy my