GSW: You still have to be his friend and not make issues with accepting his friends and relatives. He is the head otherwise your relationship will be unhealthy. It is not the age. It is the attitude of the partners that determine if the relationship will work or not.
If you don’t have a man and you want one, ask another man in your circle of influence to help you out. Another man. Not brother Gbenga o. Your daddy, brother, cousin, friend, someone who can vouch for you, a male!
Men know men. But if he helps you get a man, you have to then be in the relationship and try to make it work. All this has been said many times. Making day to day decisions as a woman, a mother, a wife, a single woman, a girlfriend, a lover, a friend is also very critical. This is where I have found so many wanting. God, grant me the grace to accept with serenity the things I cannot change, the courage
to change what needs to be changed, and the ability to distinguish the one from the other. This should be our prayer especially to my sisters. Please when you know you can’t change something, stop battling with it especially as regarding your husband or the one you are with. It is either you walk away or you adapt to cope and become comfortable with it. When you know there are things you have to change, please change them.
Don’t make excuses. This is the key to sorting out your life and reality as a believer. Take this
instructions to heart. Accept what you cannot change from your partner. Change the things you can change in your own life to make the relationship better. Once you do this, you will see how easy your life will become. Whatever you can’t accept you walk away from.
1. He will not be the “Ideal guy”
2. You probably will still to work on you
- He will have expectations and you have and you both must be able to meet each
other’s expectations in both the long and the short term - There will be a lot of give and takes
- If you say you don’t want him doing something and he does it and refuses to let it go
(maybe he has a gambling, womanising, mummy’s boy etc and other habits) walk away
if you can’t take it. Don’t wait and hope he will change. He wont - If you stay it means you have reevaluated and convinced yourself it is not a deal breaker after all and you can cope with it.
- Once you have accepted to cope with it and stay stop grumbling about it and making
a fuss. - Don’t waste time trying to force a round peg into a square hole. All these “I will do my own back, I can’t take it, I will give him war, I will show him pepper” that comes from not following the principles above will only make your marriage or relationship worse. I know this to be true. Please know it too. It is not you or your husband or lover that suffers from your bad decisions, it is the relationship that suffers. Always remember this. Let me write this emphatically. Don’t borrow each other money in a relationship or a marriage. Don’t borrow each other money! Don’t lend each other money! Don’t loan each other money! Don’t “what other English do I use now” each other money!
It is ridiculous to hear wives ranting about the money their husband is owing them or
husband lamenting about funds their wife is owing them. What you can give, please give. What you cannot give, please don’t give. Please!!!! Don’t fall for “I want to use it for a business” or “I want to put it in an investment”. Separate business from relationship. Separate the two. If both of you invest in a business and it fails. One will not be able to help the other stand. If you both do separate businesses, if one loses money the other can support. The bitterness in many relationships when it comes to money is too much. It is not love when you both put all your eggs in a basket. A man or woman whose only source of income is his or her spouse lacks substance. Begin to develop your network now and build good relationships that can support your vision independent of your spouse. That is how two beats 1000000. I will work hard, you now come and tell me about one Forex Trading or one investment that will give me 30% ROI. Because you are my girlfriend I will not carry my father’s money and give you or your younger brother. I cannot do it. I don’t like money. I like
being wise. Once you begin to leverage on your love and emotion for each other to take
money off each other, you have started killing the relationship.