There is a tendency in us as human beings to always make comparisons with practically everything.
Your brother’s son starts walking at 10 months but yours is still crawling at 11 months.
You don’t like it; you complain to God about it.
Your neighbor’s daughter gained admission into the University at 18 but yours is still in Secondary School at that age.
You feel embarrassed.
Your friend’s daughter is getting married at 25, but your 30-year-old daughter is still single at 30.
You are worried.
“…But they, measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” -2nd Corinthians 10:12.
In other words, it is FOOLISHNESS that makes people make these unnecessary comparisons. The irony about life is, for everyone you think has it BETTER than you, there are others who have it WORSE than you. We just choose not to compare ourselves with those ones.
A man had a car accident and lost a leg. He was devastated. He cried to God, “Why me, Lord? I’m just 45 and I have lost a leg! It’s NOT fair!!!”
As he was mourning the loss of a leg, he remembered that people actually DIED in the same accident.
10 friends relocated from Nigeria to the US. Within 3 years, 4 of them got their papers. One of them became despondent. “Why are others getting their papers? I’m the only one left here without papers! God, WHEN???” in that moment of despondency, she remembered that the other 5 were deported within the first 2 years of their arrival.
6 friends grew up in the same neighborhood and were classmates in Primary School. They all went to different Secondary Schools and Universities as they grew older, but they always saw each other when they were back home for holidays.
When they got to their Final Year, one of them failed and had to repeat that class. He was upset! “Lord, WHY? So, I will waste a year while my friends will graduate! It’s NOT fair!!!” In that moment he remembered: one of his friends was rusticated from his university for Cultism and another developed mental issues because he got involved with drugs and was in a Mental Facility.
In these examples, people complained about their position in life because they compared themselves with those who seemed to be better off.
I remember a story I read years ago: a man complained to a Sage: “I don’t like how my life is panning out! My family lives in a one room apartment! Me, my wife and 3 kids in just ONE ROOM! There is always chaos! No space to stretch my legs, everywhere is too tight…”
The Sage smiled and said. “I will help you out, young man!” And he gave him a goat to take home. “Keep this goat for a week and come back”, he said.
The man came back a week later: “Sir, my home is WORSE! The goat smells, pees and poos everywhere…!”
“Ah! OK, bring it back, son”, the Sage replied, and let us see in another week!” The young man returned the goat and went home…
A week later, he was back to see the Sage.
‘How’s the home front now”, Sage asked.
“Wonderful! The air is fresh, everywhere is clean, my children are happy, my wife wont stop singing and laughing…”
Sometimes the best way to appreciate what we have is to go through a worse patch.
I met a woman in a supermarket some time ago. She was trying to handle her 3 daughters, but was not making any headway…
She complained, “I’m TIRED of these girls! AAARRRGHHHH!!!”
I told her a story of a similar experience I had while growing up:
My mother had 4 of us and one day complained to her sister: “You have no idea how much these kids get on my nerves! I bought a tin of powdered milk, a box of sugar and a tin of chocolate drink for them for the month: they finish it in 2 weeks! AAARRRGHHHH!!!”
Her sister sighed and responded, “Sis, I have no children, I have been praying for one for over 10 years: if God ever blesses me with just ONE, I will NEVER complain they finish the beverage meant for a month in 2 weeks!”
I told the woman in the supermarket: “You complain about your daughters because you have them. If you had had difficulty conceiving for years before you eventually had these 3 girls, I can guarantee you wouldn’t have made this complaint today!”
She kept quiet for a while to take it all in…
Then she said, “Thank you, Sir! I will NEVER complain about my children again!”
When you realize there are people in WORSE conditions than you, you will learn to compare and complain LESS.
As Scripture puts it, it is UNWISE to do that.
And that is actually a polite way of saying it is FOOLISH and STUPID to do so.
Shalom,
Haruna Daniels