There’s truly no better way to teach counseling than by engaging with real-life, practical cases. We’re reaching a point where we must move beyond simply praying with people — we must also be able to counsel them with wisdom and discernment. That was the purpose of the scenario we discussed.

Sister Eyitayo Briella Ansa-Etim and Brother Labiso are naturally gifted counselors, and your advice was about 70% accurate. However, one major detail we all missed is this: the lady in question is 28 years old. Biologically and scripturally, she’s in the season where she should be married, having sex, and raising a family. If she lived in a country with a better economy, she would likely already be married.

Another overlooked point is that she is in a relationship with the man in question. She made it clear that it’s just one man, and though they’re trying to remain platonic, that doesn’t invalidate the depth or intentions of their relationship. We should encourage them — if their relationship is serious — to accelerate their marriage plans and begin thinking long-term. Sometimes, separating two people isn’t the right answer. She’s 28 — more than ready for marriage.

On Praying Before Counseling

Before giving any counsel, we must pray and invite the Holy Spirit to guide us. Let’s be honest — how many of us prayed before responding to that situation?

If I had met both of them personally, I would’ve arranged their wedding within a month. I’d even offer to cover the cost if necessary. They’re both ready; the only thing they lack is money for the wedding. They both have good jobs. I spoke with them recently, and although they’re not in the same city, they’ve already set a wedding date for June next year to save up. I intend to help them speed things up.

They genuinely love each other. She’s a registered nurse, and he’s a practicing doctor. So yes — they’ve been intimate, and at 28, marriage should be the next step.

On Truthfulness in Counseling

In counseling, people often don’t tell the whole truth. This particular lady told Sister Funto that the man forced himself on her. But when I spoke with her directly, she admitted she seduced him. Can you see the disparity? If you don’t pray, you won’t discern the truth, and it’s easy to get carried away by people’s ability to manipulate with half-truths.

When listening, summarize what the person said to confirm your understanding — and pray internally while doing so. Ask plenty of questions: “Is this your boyfriend?”, “Is he married?”, “Do you work together?” — these questions help widen your understanding and expose the root of guilt or confusion.

I once asked a lady if she was masturbating after reading certain books, because she said she felt “very dirty.” She almost lashed out at me, but I had to ask. People can appear very “holy,” but questions are key.

No one ever tells the whole truth. Ever. Not because they’re bad — but because they fear being judged or misunderstood. We must always probe gently but thoroughly.

On Recognizing Patterns & Guarding the Spirit

Watch out for a victim mindset. Ask if the issue has occurred before. Counseling is delicate, and not every case requires prayer as the immediate solution. Our task is to bring clarity and light to people’s lives. That sometimes involves listening for what isn’t said but is implied. Pay attention to tone, body language, and inconsistencies.

Sharing your own story also helps. It creates trust. If you’re open, they’ll be open too. But secretive people make poor counselors. We’re not here to be stoic therapists; we’re here to offer hope — and sometimes, your story is the rope someone else will hold on to.

Don’t judge, no matter what they tell you. Keep a straight face and pray in tongues silently if what you’re hearing is heavy. Remember — Christ died for that person. All they need to do is accept Him, and their past is wiped clean.

On Discerning True Intentions

Be widely read. Courtroom dramas, for example, can help you recognize human behavior, body language, and manipulative tactics.

Some people who come for counseling really just want financial help. For example, one woman reached out yesterday — her wedding budget was 15 million Naira. Another is spending 20 million on her mother’s burial. It reminded me how wildly different people’s realities can be.

Others come to counseling sessions to manipulate or even seduce the counselor — yes, it happens to both men and women. Be watchful. Don’t allow yourself to be pulled in emotionally or physically.

Conclusion: The Spirit is the Key

Don’t step into the arena of counseling without the Holy Spirit. It’s not about head knowledge — it’s about spiritual sensitivity. Only the Holy Spirit can reveal people’s true intentions. Sometimes, a single Spirit-led sentence will uncover what’s really going on.